i miss writing my journal..instead of bloggin...somehow..i only manage to write down what i really feel when i'm hand-writing a journal....i realized no matter how much you try to hide..your blog will be known by other people sooner or later...i guess i'm just not that good enough in privacy matters when it comes to the internet
and yeah...i'm begining to think i should switch to diary writing....i dont read my old blogs anyway...but i do flip back to the front if i have a diary....i guess i'm still not used to sharing my deepest thoughts with the public
finally it's weekend...this semester...a bit different for me...i've got used to full schedule from monday to friday...to be specific..to saturday afternoon...most of the time..i try to finish as much as i can during weekdays and allow myself to relax completely on weekend..saturday night and sunday...if i don't finish what i think i should finish before saturday, i just can't allow myself to rest...workaholic me..
i keep getting confused...i feel as though a few weeks had passed..based on the works i finished...but actually this is just week 8...i feel as though mid semester break was something long time ago...which in fact is only last week..thank god i have this habit of keeping an organizer..and plan ahead everything..or else i bet i'll lose track...and luckily tek ying is the type who doesn't like..and is not good at organizing her time...so..most of the time..i plan and tell her my plan..and she just follow...if she's the type who has her own idea of doing thing..and happen to be different from my way...we're sure end up needing more time to compromise..
now i always have something to look forward to the weekend...and have nice time doing my work...
i really like Helen..the lab technician in ubd..she's really kind to us...because of her..i start to think differently about the project...she's very right...no point to do a forest project if you don't plan to work in a forest next time...and she shared with us a few opinions of her about what fields should we try to go into next time...
at the moment...i'm considering about genetics and plants....i'm not an animal person...i like going into a forest..but not alone...not only my family will worry about me..even myself will feel scared...because i believe very firmly about spirits...and i'm scared of handling wild animals even if it's just a tupia...i think working in the lab suits me more..after all...what i like about science is doing reserch in the labs...eveyrtime when i imagine working in the future...i always see a picture of me wearing labcoat..doing experiments in the lab...
plus...it's better for me to choose a supervisor who i'm dare to approach...dare to speak up my mind....dr kam..erm..i feel a bit intimidated with her...dr charles is nice...but i don't like watching birds...i hate binocular...and i'm afraid of handling small mammals...also will panic if i come across any big wild animals in the forest...
oh yeah..congrats mama for your B graded essay....and ganbatte mimi in your essay writing..poor old lady...have to hand in essay/s every week...i admire all my friends who teach tuition as a prt time job....because i wish i could do that..but..i'm lazy..or maybe too tired to have any part time job...just 3 tuitions a week is just enough for me....
and lizzy *hugs* don't know what to say to you..because have no idea what you're doing lately..maybe good luck with your gram stain?? :p don't always sleep late..not good for your skin and health..
i wish i could have more time to sleep...but everytime i'll choose to sacrifice my sleeping time...can see dark rings under my eyes and my pimples on my temple have never left me...*sniff *sniff...what's worse..i'm a lot darker now...thanks to the mini project in plants...but i feel very accomplished with my study...especially the mini project..although i don't know what mark will i get at the end...still it's the first time i collected wild plant specimens..
all the hard work pay.....i know i'm lucky...because i get what i want after i put in effort..
just that...sometimes i lose track of what's going on in my life..or in people around me..
like..i only found out about the HFMD in brunei the night before last night...i didn't know the chung hwa school has stopped study because of it for quite some time...didn't know there already hundreds of cases in brunei...and i didn't know my aunt's mother-in-law had passed away...honestly...i have that urge to shed tears when i think of it..she's one of the nicest old people i ever meet...always so kind and friendly to us whenever we go her place....but on second thought...she;s already very old..and been sick for quite a few times...i mean..very very sick...death is just something inevitable....not many people can live till her age..and had her children and grandchildren living with her....she has quite a few nice and filial daughter-in-law too to look after her....
when i think of having children...i feel a bit...hesitating...kids these days are devils....and they're too clever to handle....but i really think if i want a kid..i'll want it before i reach 30...for the sake of both me and my kid...and really..i think having a baby and getting marry...are 2 independent things....i don't know since when i have such thinking...maybe i've started to feel a bit despair in marriage these days....kids are no longer seemed to be connecting the couple...plus...i can't concentrate on too many things at the same time...so..i got a feeling i can only be either a good wife or a good mother...but not 2 at the same time...and i've seen how women become so unreasonable when they're pregnant....it scares me actually....will make me wonder will i become like that too next time...i think getting pregnant is something to be happy with...but never an excuse to escape from things you need to do...the world doesn't stop for anyone...
hoo~~ the things i say are getting heavier...want to stop here...before i start whining...or maybe talk ill of people....:p
