it's been a while.. i'd worked harder than normal this week.. from monday to wednesday.. did more things than usual.. so until thursday.. i was exhausted.. but relaxed too.. maybe because i've finished preparing for saturday.. got a presentation...and the japanese assignment was supposed to hand in on saturday.. after i finished it... sensei said the deadline postponed to next wednesday.. hmm.. thank god she only said that after i finished it.. or else.. i'll probably delay it again till next week.. should've done it during the mid semester break..

oh yeah.. i'm 22 years old now.. hehe.. i spent the whole day of my birthday at Ministry of Health.. listening to talks.. withdrawing my blood for malaria and filaries (not sure the spelling) tests.. and catching living mosquitoes.. the people taught us how to catch it.. using our legs as baits.. maybe because it's my birthday.. so people only got 1 or 2.. i turned to have 5 ;) mosquitoes like me better

today it rained.. how great.. i don't like dry season.. i'll start worry what if it doesn't rain for months and we need to cut down on water use.. i guess i must be a fish in my previous life.. i just can't feel ease when there's no water..

lizzy.. how are you now?? miss you~~ soo much... you must miss me oh.. even if only once in a while..

for the past few weeks.. i don't like the way i talk sometimes.. like.. there were thorns in my words.. feel sorry to those who might have been hurt by my words.. especially tekying.. she's with me most of the time.. hope she didn't suffer much..
sometimes i feel lonely... maybe i'm not borned to be a loner.. i need companions.. partners..
but most of the time i'm ok with it.. not so much time to dread over it perhaps.. plus.. it's better for me to be alone too.. so i can concentrate more on my work.. is every uni student racing against time?? or is it just me or ubd student? no matter what i do.. i never find enough time.. hehe does that sound fake?? because i have the time to blog now.. maybe i should put it like this.. we have the time.. but the time we spend on leisure is never enough for us.. is that typical of young people these days? or of bruneians?
really.. i'm taking my study seriously... just.. i don't like it when i'm not studying it for interest but for something compulsory..
i probably won't do ecological project.. 2 of my friends want to work with the same lecturer and the lecturer said he's busy with something else.. so he can only take one.. and might accept another one.. when i heard that.. i felt like.. if so.. i just switch for other options.. don't like to fight with others.. there are still lots of choices.. erm.. well.. maybe a few more.. not many.. plus.. my family and my close ones are not that supportive for me to work in a forest.. i feel scared too to be in an area of a forest alone.. fear of bumping into a predator kind of animals.. fear of getting lost.. fear of what's in front waiting for me.. and also fear of those 'things'.. if you get what i mean.. i really believe on that kind of things..

tonight have to sleep with the air con on.. because my cousin is sleeping over here.. don't think it's appropriate to insist on sleeping with fan.. nevermind.. i can wear a jacket.. i just don't like the feeling when the air surrounding my skin is cold..

congrats mama!!! hehe.. remember we were saying what if your nephew was borned on my birthday?? that feels like a few weeks ago and now your sister has given birth.. time just fly.. bet you'll be very eager to go home every day now..

talking about birthday.. mine is coming soon... not going to celebrate it this year.. my family and i are going to have steamboat on my chinese birthday.. think i'm getting old.. no longer keen in making birthday big.. instead, prefer to have a quiet one.. as long as i spend it with those VIPs in my life..
hehe.. he asked me what do i wish for my birthday gift.. i told him better don't ask me that question.. because there are lots of things i wish to have..

the mid semester break is left with 2 days now.. i didn't do much honestly.. the best part of the break for me is i finally get better rest.. i suspect i have poor quality sleep.. or else i wouldn't feel tired in the morning when i wake up.. ok.. i know that sometimes i carry stress with me even when sleeping.. there are things like.. assignments.. deadlines.. tasks.. in my dreams..

the other day i went for a body massage (finally) and the lady advised me to drink more water to eliminate the toxic in my body.. more exercise.. and less chicken... she said there are lots of uric acid in the chicken.. then i was thinking.. we seldom eat beef because chinese believe that beef is bad for healing and for me, it's red meat.. so not so healthy to eat more.. then we seldom eat pork too.. expensive and not available everywhere.. i don't like seafood as well.. because it might not be fresh enough and the seafood here is always prawns and squids.. not healthy too..
so chicken seem to be the only choice both at home and outside.. if don't eat too much chicken.. hm...
after the massage.. we went for a tea time.. having what that lady said in my mind.. i ordered a vegetarian mee soup... quite nice.. because it got a lot of cabbage in it..

then i also went for a traditional urut today at a haji's place.. the haji said i have some problems with my period.. and i should stay away from spicy food and cold drinks..

oh yeah lizzy.. what did i do to my hair?? i cut, staightened and dyed it.. i realized that i'm quite open to new style.. not afraid to try any new looks.. as long as i trust the person who suggest it..

i begin to think that i've tried too hard to do well in everything.. which is beyond my capability.. trying to do well in study, help everything at home..keep fit... if i were a candle.. i bet i'm left with just a little bit of wax... ok.. nonsense..

but it's true.. i really feel exhausted now... i need to learn how to relax.. how to stop pushing myself... basically.. just accept the fact that i'm not the kind of person who can do good in everything at the same time... maybe when i just go with the flow.. i'll feel better.. and perform better..

today is the last day of chinese new year... my mom's in labuan.. haih... when i was young... it didn't matter to me at all where my mom went.. what time would she be back... but starting last year.. i'll mind... i'll miss my family when they're away... during the first week of the chinese new year.. i felt bit empty.. because no one was at home except me..
but thank god i have a bunch of good friends.. i really enjoyed on the day they came here.. nice talking with them all.. although that day was a bit rush for me (field trip the whole day)

i notice.. what i liked before.. i might still like it now.. just that.. now i've grown up.. i've learnt more.. a lot of things will start to affect my liking.. for example.. i realized that i still like going to the beach... but i thought i've stopped liking it.. now i know it's because of the sand flies.. and the tutong beach here.. hm.. people like to ask or gossip...
then a lot of food i still enjoy.. but because of heal and weight.. i don't feel so keen now to eat them..

of course there are lots of happy things happen in life.. just.. probably i'm too stress out.. i just miss the good part of it.. and keep thinking i didn't do well in this.. didn't do well in that..
suddenly.. feel like.. i need to start all over again.. start everything from the beginning..
i hope.. from now on... i'll stop mess things up.. keep things as simple as possible.. don't try to make things complicated.. and love everyone and everything more..

mimi.. the pictures you want are here...

mid-semester break has started.. not a really a break... hope i can make good use of this week to catch up with what i miss..