headache

exam is very very near....i start to feel bit scared...because i haven't started my revision for the exam on monday...yet i won't have time to revise for it tomorrow night...hm...must study as much as i can tomorrow daytime..
i'm scared..but things still go on as i plan..just 1 day delayed...

Lizzy *hugs* think it on the good side..it's all your life experience...just learn the best out of it..at least now you probably know better what to do during similar circumstances ah...
i think...although you're loud..that's also help in bringing you and others closer...
don't worry...i'll still love you ;)

good things..

tomorrow night i'm going for ping guan's concert!! wow! it's been a long time that i didn't go any concert...can't wait for that....

i went for a facial treatment today...so far, the most impressive one i ever have...probably because the beautician is someone our age..so easier to ask and talk...she taught me quite a lot of things about skincare...
hehe...my new spending regime is...i'll try not to buy anymore new clothes and shoes and earrings...which i already have more than enough..try to save up for skincare and body massage...probably i can even try the SPA...i'm so into those things now...
hey lizzy...after the exam, let's go massage...i want to try the steambath there..

back to normal..

i feel accomplished today...because this morning i swept and mobbed the floor of the whole house...and also did all the laundry..i felt amzingly happy doing those household chores..more enjoying than study...
study is fun but not during exam time...because when you're studying for exam..it's something compulsory, instead of out of your interests...

guess what...i haven't started any revision yet...gosh! aint i commiting suicide now?? i actually thought of starting it today...somehow i preferred to clean the house...ok! no matter what, i must start tomorrow..or else i won't have enough time to finish revising for my plant physio...Ms Faizah has helped us a lot..i don't want to let her down..plus with all the tips she gave, we're not supposed to get a lower-than-average grade right..too many exam hints are no good, in a way..

swait zin! thanks for your comment..don't worry i'm feeling ok now..thanks to all the chores and workouts i did today...i need to exercise in order to feel good about myself...more precisely, i need to stay in shape to feel good...

i went for the massage at destress yesterday..it was great! i requested not have head and face massage but longer time on my shoulders...plan to go back there once more this week...because the promotion they're having ended this weekend...tempted to try the spa there...also facial...i need eye treatment for the puffiness and dark rings of my eyes...

i guess i need to earn a great amount of money so i can enjoy such pleasures often..whenever i wish..

end of the week

last time in primary school..one of the teachers..was it Ming or Huang...said the first day of the week is sunday..but people generall consider monday as the first day...

my aunt from kb came today...commenting that i've put on weights...*sniff *sniff...have to admit i'm hurt by her words...isn't it funny? some people can tell me i've become fatter in a very pleasant way, which won't makes me think it's a sin...but some people can say it with a thorn that prick right at my heart..hiya..not that serious though...but...i'm shaken by her words..
good news is...i'm slightly motivated to watch out for my weight...bad news? exam time is not a good time to diet...

Lizzy *hugs* i accept your apology..but you're not that bad....eventhough i was hurt...i never think that you did that on purpose...i just knew that you'll never do anything to hurt your friends...
you know...i think most stubborn people achieve what they want eventually..because they have such a strong faith in themselves...

out of the blue..i have that desire to know what do my friends think of me....after so much time we didn't hang out....i start to like the changes in each of us..if there's any...like what chiou told me before..changes mean you've grown up...everything has its own positive side...

i'm still thinking about the japanese speech...i know i'm going to be scared to give a speech on a stage in front of a crowd...but..there's a part in me that encourages me to go, to give it a try, to urge myself to cross the line..i felt nervous too when i joined the singing contest..but turned out that my performance was impressive...i told myself, if this is not a speech contest, but a singing one..i'll definitely join..hehe...i love doing things i'm good at and get applause for it..:p

but at the moment, exam should be the thing on my mind...whatever...i dont think i did well for my test yesterday..so i won't be surprise if i don't get a good well..i just wasn't in the mood for revision so i just relied mostly on what i remember from lectures...too risky i suppose...because every test counts for the overall grade...and i don't think i did good enough for my reports...so far..only Dr Mirza gave me A for my report...he's just sooo nice...like his lectures...but i'm not going to have organic chemistry lecture anymore i guess...only practicals...
well..at least i'm not that annoyed at the idea of revising for exam....if there's anything i love myself about this sem, it would be i manage to enjoy everything i did for all my courses..perhaps that's the reason why i never get fed-up with my study this sem...hope i can keep this hm..passion??.. for study going...

oh yeah lizzy...i love the chat we had the other day...communication is soo important between friends...i have to apologize too...because me too thought what others think of you...to think that we're best friends...i'm sorry...
i hate it when people criticize on my friends yet i can't defend them...just because i actually agreed with the people...bad me..
mimi..good luck for your nihongo no oral exam...gambate kudasai~

exam coming

i feel stress when i think of the coming exam...but...most of the time i'm in good mood..because my mind is more concentrated on the holiday that will come after the exam..haha..

i want to go massaging...go for facial...hair treatment...shopping...buying new shoes and clothes....
but...erm...i guess i don't mind spending more...since i've been neglecting my strong desire to shop for the past few months...how silly i was....but now i realized that's not the right way to live...one of the ways to prevent yourself from mental breakdown due to stress is don't give up on activities you like....how true...

as usual...i'm thinking of learning something new during the long vacation...thinking to learn about chinese typing using computer...since my strongest language is chinese...better keep it up..
not sure will i join the japanese speech contest...afraid i'll get stage fright...i'm never dare to speak in public...

wish i could volunteer for the patoi trip...i look forward to go back there..and do the night watch again..but...seems like it's not going to come true...for i have to stay for my students...i'll see how it goes..

one thing worth to be happy...i donated blood on tuesday morning..it was my first time!! a very impressive experience...the nurses and doctor were all very nice people...they kept asking me questions like am i ok...do i feel dizzy....but i felt perfectly fine...in fact..i felt excited...because i've been wanting to donate blood since long time ago..and finally i got the chance...and during the exam time...i should be able to get the report on all the tests they do on my blood sample...most importantly...my blood type....

thank god my acnes are healing...or else...i'll have to go to specialist lor...i'm reserving my money for shopping and leisure..not for the doctors...

sunday erm..late morning

week 12 is over...meaning less than a month to the exam..hu hu~ a part of me wish i could have more time for revision...the other part of me hope exam can be over as soon as possible..because exam over means holiday

recently a lot of road accidents...which makes me feel...weird..
anyway people..just drive carefully whenever you're out...
life is just...so fragile..

i remember it now that i was planning to post a blog about my birthday..but i always forgot about that...
ok...21 now..but feel nothing different...got few gifts on my birthday...i especially love the wallet i got from my aunts and cousins...but i havent started using it yet...lazy to change...
the thing to feel proud about my birthday was...i contributed to the budget for the food and drinks...
but at the beginning..i didn;t plan for anything big...actually wished to have a quiet birthday...but my mom sounded excited to celebrate for me...that's why the whole thing was a bit last minute..
and for the first time one whole class sang birthday song to me..and also wished me happy birthday...felt so awkward and embarassed...i guess i'm not the type of people who like to stand under a limelight...
some people forgot about my birthday...but i'm not angry...in fact i'm glad they forget...because..ermm...don't know why....just don't wish people to remember it.... maybe because i don't know how to respond when people joke about belanja kua..

went to miri on friday...and i tried the foot reflexology for the first time...quite painful but...probably because i know it's a kind of massage..so i don't mind to go for it again despite i have to bear with the pain....the advertisement about someone losing weight with the foot reflexology was quite attractive too..

recently i found that i'm quite into shoe-shopping...i got big feet...so it's kind of hard to find a pair of ladies slippers that would look nice on my feet...but still..i like going around in the shoes corner..especially areas with big sign of sale or discount hanging from the ceiling...

today..qing ming festival

not a good day for me...because....:)

exam is coming soon...a lot of deadlines have to meet...it's kind of typical of the uni life...by this time of the semester, a lot of people will be stress out...or exhausted...

i wish i could go back to the past..and stay there...don't wish to grow up...because life is so complicated...or..i should say..the social life is so complicated...what you see is not always true...everything between 2 persons can be so vulnerable...so fragile...

what's the point of being together when all each person tries to do is to get back on the other person?
i'm not a good daughter...tit for tat seems to be the most common behaviour in my family...am i old enough to have a say?? do i have the ability to change the situation?

my armour is always off me when i'm with people i trust..who i'm close with....but too much trust sometimes end me up with injury...

i have been selfish and self-centred lately...or maybe for quite a while..is it really my work load of study or is it myself that makes me lose track of what's going on in my family, what my other friends are doing...what my family is doing...i'm so preoccupied with my study...
i learnt that long working hours don't suit me...one of the reasons why i think i don't have a doctor's personality....i'm not giving enough...my family is my priority...that's including my husband and children next time....i won't spend time on the whole world if i can't make sure people i love are in good enough condition..i won't have time to care if the world is peaceful if my own home is not peaceful...i don't mind if i don't have much outstanding achievement in my career...but i mind a lot when i can't catch up with my family's life...
for me..my ultimate career will be a housewife...or a good grandmother..
i never plan to work oversea...unless it's representing brunei..or following my husband...for me...i've been using the government's money since secondary school....so...i'll feel guilty if i don't contribute anything to the country...though i never plan to work with the government...as long as i'm still in my country, i can do something...plus i'm used to the pace of life here...i'll probably get suffocated if i live in singapore or new york...
i believe i'll have big financial problem without the student allowance...tsk tsk tsk...too dependent on government..

qing ming

my ulcers are killing me!!! sooo~ painful...i haven't met anyone yet who will have mouth ulcers as frequent as i have...oh my god! i hate my mouth..

i feel a bit panic when thinking of the coming exam...i hope i can start my revision earlier this sem..but assignments seem never ending...ok..life still has to go on...when i'm pushed to the limit..i'll tell myself, if others can do it, i can do it too..gambate!

came across one nice quote just now.."the best way to predict the future is to invent it"

attended my godbrother's wedding recently...only until last night i began to accept the truth...i admit i'm biased...i keep comparing the bride to my friend...honestly...i really think my friend is a lot better than her...but that's life....the winner is not necessary always the best one...the bride is not as good as my friend...but i believe she makes a better partner to that bridegroom...it's always takes me a while to really understand that it has nothing to do with better or worse in ability or what...prettier or uglier...it's all fate..and it's all about compatible or not..
that's why everyone sure can find his or her soulmate..

one good thing to note...i found a way to buy magazines every month without going to the stores...i need those magazines to remind me to keep fit...i've been gaining weights...oh gosh!!
tomorrow going out lunch with lee shi and josh..japanese food oh...huge temptation for me...but i must control...now i feel a bit grateful to my ulcers..:p