i like helping people around.. but.. maybe i've always approached people the wrong way... every time.. i'll end up feeling being taken advantage of.. i don't mind to help you as much as i can... but the thing is.. show to me that you worth my effort.. i respect people.. and never think i'm any smarter than anyone.. and i really don't like it when i have to give away stuffs which i have spent hourssss figuring out.. without any good reason.. i believe everyone has to do their own work... it's not right to just copy someone else's work.. even if that work is just a piece of cake for that someone..
i'm losing patience.. and i'm worried that one day.. i'll deliberately hurt someone's feeling.. i guess from now on... i should know where to draw the line.. i don't need the whole world to be on my side.. as long as i know there are few people out there who understand me.. and i notice that for quite a few times.. i dont mind to play the 'bad guy'.. just to stop any more trouble coming up later.. as long as i know what i'm doing right... but i know sometimes it's not the case.. because i'm not living alone in this world.. whatever i do.. someone else will get involved..

mid-semester break has started.. good news is.. my allowance is out.. hmm... and i've learnt to think twice before spending money... though i really wish to shop till i broke hehe.. just a thought..

i'm becoming cruel.. don't feel that guilty anymore when i kill an insect.. but i still don't think i can catch up to 200 insects.. if killing insects will make me go to hell next time.. i'm going to meet lots of friends there (all from biological science :p)

i miss lee shi.. miss mimi.. miss mama.. miss the time we hang out.. lee shi.. can you fly back here on this friday to have sungkai buffet with us??
i love you guys.. we never take advantage of each other.. maybe i do unconsciously.. but it feels so much more comfortable with you guys.. i can just do whatever i want.. crack stupid jokes.. say something rude.. eat like there's no weight problem..

i'm glad that the break is here.. because i think i seriously need one.. i'm getting blur these days.. like i've been doing so many things but i can't keep track most of the time..
so since i'm having break now.. i want to do something i haven't been doing for a while.. the first thing is.. i'm going to bk udal tomorrow.. to visit my grandparents.. and i want to sleep early at night.. so i have more energy for the next day during day time.. i really don't like to sleep away my afternoon.. but i'll get headache if i force myself to stay awake when i'm sleepy.. im getting old..

anyway.. feel relieved to throw out some rubbish here :p
thanks for your advice this morning mimi.. hopefully i didn't disturb your sleep... *hugs*
i like going to mimi for advice.. don't know why.. maybe she's one of the wisest people around me.. come to think of it.. i'm the one who get myself into the trouble.. i should've figured out right or wrong at the beginning.. instead of help and then complain...

Happy Mooncake Festival people...

fifth week coming.. in two weeks time we'll have a test for biochemistry..
we only have 3 courses this sem..i mean me.. but i know i can't relax.. none of it is easy.. but i'm having a nice time studying.. i only have this sem left..

i've joined the yoga club.. and i really look forward to the class every week.. i think i'll continue to learn yoga even after ubd.. these days i'm also interested to learn bellydance.. but.. yoga first lah.. i still haven't got my allowance.. so every week i'm depending on my pocket money from my mom.. surviving but.. i have a long list of to-buy.. and except for my weekly pocket money.. i'm too proud to ask for more from my mom.. i feel kinda bad enough that i still get pocket money from her.. at my age.. i should be financially independent.. and i really mind about this.. i wish i can take care of my mom as soon as possible..

the new hua ho in tutong has opened about a month ago... for the first two weeks, it was full almost every day... so now i prefer to go skh or soon lee.. because less crowded..

it's raining now.. these days the weather is very unpredictable.. theoretically, now is the transition period between north-east and south-west monsoon.. it's so hot when the sun is there.. and i don't like it when it rains.. because my fingers and toes tend to get cold very easily on a cold weather.. or in cold surrounding..
actually i've found a way to prevent that.. by having hot water bath.. i'm so into hot water bubble bath now.. but i limit myself to 2 times a week..because i still feel guilty for taking a bath and not shower... that's so environmental unfriendly.. for my family.. they think i'm insane to try to save water and electricity.. because since my dad will pay for it.. i don't know how to explain to them that i'm not saving money.. it's the resources that i'm trying to save..

i haven't started my final year project.. i want to read through all info i can get about it before i start.. but i know i can't delay too much.. my plan is i'll start in week 6 or week 7.. will start by identifying and collecting the fern species.. and this sem we have a mini project of entomology on collecting insects.. i feel very reluctant to do this porject.. because everytime when i catch an insect.. it means i have to kill them.. i feel so sinful.. the lecturer wants us to catch 200 insects each person.. and i'm considering handing in a lot less than that.. i only have less than 20 now..
if everyone of us get 200.. and this happens once a year.. what will happen to the insect population here? we're not given guidelines on which insect is safe to catch and which is not.. which is an endangered species and should be avoided.. what techniques we should use to catch any particular insects.. we're not instructed.. the technician said we have the apparatus.. but no one has taught us how to use it.. hmm.. maybe this is the kind of uni course in oversea universities.. it's not the kind of things i like to do.. so i have to keep forcing myself to catch and kill.. i'm soo guilty to the insects..

lee shi.. hope you're feeling better now.. i love you.. we all love you here.. :)