29/3/2008; living room

i met josh today... the first sentence we said when we first saw each other was 'hao jiu bu jien'.. we havent seen each other for such a long time.. josh is still as nice as he used to be.. because he told me i'm slimmer now :p

tomorrow i'm going to bukit sawat for the tomb sweeping festival.. it's still flooding there.. so we might have to walk a distance to reach my great-grandparents' tombs.. i'm glad i bought that pair of boots last year for the aquatic bio.. so we all have to wake up early tomorrow.. going to bk udal at 6..

feel bit tired lately.. my supervisor is still ill.. and the stained slides i've made aren't good enough.. he'll show me how to do it the proper way.. but i think i might try it again on my own on monday.. it's tiring to work in the lab for whole day.. though i might be just doing simple things.. maybe because i've been doing the same thing so.. yeah.. but i wouldn't mind doing this kind of things next time as my job.. just.. bit disappointed.. tikah has made beautiful slides.. but only some of my slides are good.. maybe that's the main reason that makes me feel worn-out...
*take a deep breath* i'll try it again on monday.. i can do it i'm sure.. i just need more practice.. ganbatte!

oh yeah! i've bought a new dvd player... so my pocket is a bit tight this week.. the old dvd player.. well.. it's terrible.. maybe we can send it back to the agent and ask them to repair.. replace some part or whatever.. the new one... hehe.. it's another thing that makes me proud.. when we got down from the car on that day.. the first thing i told my mom is.. i'll pay for it.. oh gosh! it is soooooo cool to pay for something like this.. it's like telling me.. i can help! i'm not totally hopeless.. i know my mom's been wanting to buy a new dvd player.. but she needs to keep the money for other purposes.. i feel great that i can help.. plus.. some to think of it.. i'm the one who use all these tv, dvd player in the living room..
my mom actually said we can buy a small one.. including a tv.. and put it in my room.. so i can watch movie in my room with my dear.. but i don't think i want it.. why bother to buy another set when i can have the big tv and new dvd player in the living room.. hehe i'm the owner of the living room most of the time.. plus.. my room doesn't have the space.. if it has.. i'll put all my books in my room.. i wish i could've a bigger room.. i need a bigger table, a bigger wardrobe.. and a big book shelf.. but i appreciate what i have now.. at least i got to have my own room.. that is good enough ;)

there's always not much to watch on tv on saturday night.. maybe it's only for me..
i'm watching Jolin's concert.. i love to watch concert dvds... especially those that include the backstage preparation for the concert.. when i watch jolin's and wilbet pan's concert dvds.. i always feel touched.. because they work really hard, even push themselves to the extreme, just to give their fans a wonderful show.. it's like telling me.. you can get what you want as long as you work hard enough.. and nothing comes free..
can't remember since when.. i start to believe that hardwork is the most important thing if i want success.. before this, i used to think for some people, things come easily.. but now i believe it's their effort that bring them the things they have..
so, if i put in effort.. i can lose the weights i want to lose.. i can make beautiful slides.. i can write good thesis (i hope so much).. i can pass my developmental bio.. all and all, if i put in effort..

maybe i should sing karaoke tonight.. release out all my stress...
sometimes i'm scared.. scared of i can't do well for my thesis.. scared that i'll screw up my seminar.. scared that what if i can't find a job after my seminar.. scared that i have too little knowldge.. but only sometimes.. most of the time i'm ok.. if i've done my work, i'll be fine.. if i don't do my work over the weekend.. then i'll feel scared again...

am i repeating things?? i tend to get a bit long-winded.. i don't talk much these days.. especially when i'm in school.. don't know what to say.. or rather.. don't know what can be said and what can't be said.. it's hard for me to understand people these days.. maybe i'm too naive.. or too weird.. or.. i'm just too narrow-minded.. whatever

first blog of 23

thanks people.. it always makes me smile whenever i got your birthday greetings..

you know what mama, with all those silly things you did, i'd love to have a teacher like you.. with you around, i'm sure the school time will be a lot more fun ;) hehe

last week..kind of hectic for me.. i was trying to finish all the permanent stained slides i need to do... so i spend most of the days in the lab, doing the staining.. not every outcome is satisfying so i ended up repeating a few times.. thought of showing them to my supervisor on monday.. but he wasn't there.. then today he's still sick.. poor old man.. hope he's getting better now.. i like him, he's one of the best lecturers i've ever come across.. so knowledgeable and helpful

this sem.. we have a new lecturer.. can't say he's not good.. maybe he's just not suitable to teach undergraduate.. perhaps he'll be an excellent supervisor for a PHD student..
for me.. it's hard to pass this course.. i was actually aiming to get an A at first.. but now.. i hope i can get at least a C.. this course is not easy.. and one of the lecturers is not easy to approach too..
but sometimes i wonder.. am i being biased or too intimidated by the bad impression i have of him?
maybe he's not that bad actually.. i don't know.. but i'm sure i need to find a way to approach him correctly.. i believe the department is willing to help us.. but they too have their responsibility and worry.. as a student.. there are lots of things i don't know..
it's likely that he'll teach us till the end of the course.. i don't think i can make myself to like him.. but it'll help me if i can stand neutral..
if i try to look on the good side.. things will become a lot simpler and easier.. i guess
i don't think i'm a good student.. because i get lazy most of the time.. so i think it's not right to point fingers at others when i myself can't do the same..

reminds of me a drawing i saw at ICC.. that drawing is fully of clowns laughing and pointing at another clown.. the artist is trying to convey the message that.. in our life.. we always laugh or blame others for their mistakes.. without realizing us too make the same mistakes... how true..

oh yeah.. last sunday we went to the wedding of anna's brother.. i bet all of us got sun-burned.. especially mama and lina.. poor girls.. they did the hardest job.. i stayed under the tent most of the time and yet, i was still reddish on monday morning.. but it's nice to see everyone there.. well almost everyone.. lizzy wasn't there :

last week.. the major reason why i was exhausted is my niece and nephew.. gosh! i wouldn't consider to be their nanny even if the monthly pay is B$500.. they can fight all the time..
whatever the sister has, the brother wants it too.. the sister won't give in to the brother, but she always show off to her brother what she has got.. so we tried to give one to each of them. and they still get into a fight!!! kids these days are just nightmares..
i know some people will relate young kids to angels.. but for me.. they're devil in disguise most of the time.. so naughty, so hard to control and yet, they'll make you love them so much..
it;s tiring to babysit them.. especially when two together.. but.. whenever i'm free.. i'll definitely bring them here.. like hitting my own toes with a stone right..
since now i complain so much about my niece and nephew.. i have no doubts next time my kids won't be any better too (if i change my mind and decide to have kids).. see? i never think it's a good idea to have smart kids.. what's with the DHA, SA, bla bla bla.. expensive milk powder to produce kids that drive the adults crazy