It's a holiday!

I was reading the newspaper just now. Guys, we should really feel thankful to be living in Brunei. We have good air conditions, clean water supply and countless subsidies. Sometimes i think reading the news is depressing nowadays. There are always more bad news than good ones. Is that the real world out there today? Or people just tend to focus more on the ugly side?

Last sunday, i went for a bbq at lizzy's place. It was fun meeting her friends. They are all very nice people because i didn't feel awkward or odd when hanging out with them for the first time. Yet, i still felt a bit self-conscious. It's just typical of me to feel shy among strangers. But still, i enjoyed that day.

I am the type of people who can get influenced by others easily. Like, my plan was to have a long break after the seminar, let my body and mind get enough rest before i start any plan. I have to admit i was quite worried when i found out that many of my classmates are doing something during the time i was resting. Some have started working, some doing research works for lecturers and some having attachment at government departments. The thought of me being the only one doing nothing at all scared me, until dear reminded me that taking a break is my original plan. Poor dear, he has to endure my complaints and fears almost everytime we meet.
And yeah, now i feel erm.. finally i'm standing firmly on my feet.
Sometimes, even though i'm doing what i think i should do, i can't help hesitating if people around me do or say something different. Like i'm not confident enough with my own decision but at the same time too stubborn to accept others' point-of-view. Actually, i seldom change my mind. But i'll keep on questioning myself am i doing the right thing.

People have been telling me not to worry about getting a job because what i've got is a second upper degree, as if that's something very extraordinary. I guess i haven't really realized the value of my degree yet. For me, i felt ecstatic when i got my classification because that's what i was aiming for and it's been a while since i last achieved what i wanted. But i felt a bit disappointed that my mom doesn't understand the meaning of my degree. She's like one of my top motivations. I want to make her proud of me and at the moment, study is my only asset. Too bad i didn't succeed this time. Nevermind, i have lots of chances in the future.
Some people told me to do master but i don't think i want that. In fact, i never plan to do master right after my degree. Really don't think now is the right time. I want to work and earn money first. So next time, when i do go for my master study, i wouldn't have to worry too much about my pocket money. Now i've got a degree, it's time for me to share the family budget with my mom.
To be honest, my bank savings still enable me to survive until end of this year, provided i don't spend more than $200 out of it each month. Because i still get pocket money. But i still need a job urgently. It really makes me paranoid when i think of not receiving any income since our last allowance of May. I don't go really care-free when it comes to money. Plus, i love the feeling whenever i send out a job application. It's like, i'm doing something to get a job, instead of waiting for the chance to knock on my door.

Dear has started his second sem in qurtin. This time, we can only meet on weekends. It's a bit difficult for us now because in the past few weeks, we had been meeting quite often. So now we have to start again getting used to meeting less. But we should be grateful because we still get to chat or talk through the net every night. Wish saturday can come sooner.

Oh yeah, tomorrow i'm going to the BSP career day with mimi and ana. Hope i can get some useful information while we're there.