Update! Update!

Selamat Hari Raya to all~
i spent the first two days of Raya counting days. I took my paid leave on the wednesday (wrong move!) so when i woke up on Thursday, it was a bit disappointing to know i still have 4 more sit-around-and-do-nothing days to bear. And one thing, i actually felt guilty for taking the leave. I wasn't sick or what. I bet the reason of i'm taking leave because everyone else is taking is not valid enough for myself. Oh well, what done is done.

I feel a bit bad that i missed house-visiting with the old ladies. There are always clashes, clashed with my time with dear, clashed with the time my mom's out so i have to stay at home. Despite the fact that i've only managed to go to less than a handful of open house, i still suffer from food stagnation 'mentally'. I feel the need to cleanse my digestive tract haha!

Thanks Lizzy for the last comment. By now, i've accepted the fact that my mom won't be coming for my convo. I didn't want to make it compulsory for her to come. Haih.. i'm afraid i still haven't got over it completely. I hate to think that all my hardworks and efforts are not appreciated by my closed ones. Sometimes, i feel that i'm the odd one among my family. It's really hard to make them understand my opinions. For the past few weeks, i've been feeling inferior most of the time because my feeling has been neglected for a couple of times, continuously. I really thought that i am being treated unfairly by my mom. Eventually, i concluded that there must be something wrong with my own communication skills and perhaps, my personality too.
And i realized, a lot of things never change. Like, the way i get mad, my attitude with my family and hence, i have no doubt that this kind of thing will happen again and again in the future.

Yeah, the past few weeks, it was like hell for me, which is why i didn't update much here. Feel like my life is miserable, like i never get what i want. I even went to the extreme, thinking that i'm abandoned by the world. One evident that i have poor communication with my family is that, none of them know how i felt in the past few weeks. I never succeed in sharing my downs with them and they seem to never understand my ups. Gosh! I have strong desire to feel pampered now!

WHen i was young, i always had this idea that when i grow up and earn lots of money, i'll do lots of good deeds, like give offerings to people, particularly give pocket money to a few elders in my family. But now, when the time has come, as in i started working, i realized it's hard to fulfill those dreams. It's always easier to spend money as a kid. At my age now, i'm restricted by my own needs and responsibilities. Helping others become less easy. Or maybe it's me who has become too self-centred?? Hmm..

These days i'm slowly getting the hang of my job. That's good because i get to see more benefits of those tests. But that also means i spend more time doing the analysis because i start to question more than i did when i first started the work. Hm.. i'll consider that as a sign of improvement. Hehe.