I met one friend today. We talked for a while.
How will you react if someone gives a negative comment on things you concern a lot?
When someone told me i'm fat, on the surface, i'll laugh at it and then change the topic. But deep in my heart, i'll start crying and then, depend on who is that person. If it's someone i'm close with, i'll get upset for a while. If it's just an acquaintance, hm.. come to think of it, i'll still get upset.
The friend i met this morning is different. When guys rejected her because of her weight, she will tell herself that those guys are not smart enough to realise her beauty.
I envy her. Her weight doesn't seem to bother her at all. Although she's still singled now and can't find a boyfriend, at least she's happy with herself. I believe one day she will find someone who knows how to appreciate her for who she is.
Maybe i should hang out with her more often. Then i won't be so doubtful about myself.
My confidence is still on vacation and the return date is still unpredictable.
I need someone to tell me what is my strength but i know no matter what people tell me now, it won't go into my head. I will still believe i'm not an attractive person. The main problem is my own mindset. I don't know... maybe i need to get more depressed till i reach a point when even i myself can't take it anymore, then i'll pull myself together and get back to normal again. Haih..
Friday, February 18, 2011
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Happy Chinese New Year.. on the 2nd last day
Happy Chinese New Year to all~ yeah today is the 2nd last day so it's not too late yet.
Chinese new year lasts for 15 days, and i spent almost 10 days taking medicine to control my cough. It was so bad this time that i had to come home early to rest on one Wednesday because i couldn't even finish one sentence whenever i talked. Still i didn't get to rest as i wanted that day, due to some erm.. irritating reasons.
Those medicines that i had taken drained all my energy away. I still remember how annoying i felt last week for my weak stamina. Now that i have stopped taking the medicine, i feel so much more energetic.
Unsurprisingly, i've become larger in size during the chinese new year. *sniff *sniff
Because of that, plus the effect of the medicine, i have been so depressed last week. Even till now i still have some negative thoughts popping up in my head. I tried to ignore it but that didn't work. So now i try to face my negative thoughts and talk myself out of it.
According to the Astro Magazine for February, 'If you don't like the way you look, change it. If you can't change it, learn to love it'
Very true. I don't like feeling fat so i have to change it. The world just seems to be a better place when i'm slimmer. Don't worry ladies, i'm not obsessed with my body weight. I just want to get healthier and of course, prettier :p
The way i feel how i look affects my social life very deeply, that's why i must do something.
Anyone interested in hiking or swimming?? Or yoga? Or Stone Spa?
These days, i don't give myself pressure to arrive at school early and at the same time, i try not to stay back till late after work. I have figured out that no matter how many extra hours i spend at school, i'll still have to do my work at home on non-working days. In that case, why don't i just leave when it's time to go home? No point making myself so tired till i wanted to run away from my job. If there is anything that i have to or want to do in my life, i want to do it with a happy heart. Life is so short. I notice there are so many people stuck unhappily with their jobs but because of some reasons like money and security, they're bearing with it.
I hope i won't become one of them next time.
I'm the type of person who gets insecure very easily, especially when it comes to something i know i'm not good at. So i'll feel threatened when someone can do that something better than me. The worst is, the more i think that person is better than me, the more i'll tend to compare myself with that person. Tsk tsk tsk, I'm torturing myself, aint i?
I know, there's one saying 'never compare yourself to others because everyone is unique'. But i'd think, if i don't compare, how am i to know if i'm wronged or if i can become better?
Oh yeah, my school has a new principal. Not exactly new, because he used to be the acting principal when i first came to this school. Hmm... my intuition tells me lots of things are going to happen, politics-related things. Let's hope i won't get involved with any of it. I just want to stay clean and do only my responsibility.
Chinese new year lasts for 15 days, and i spent almost 10 days taking medicine to control my cough. It was so bad this time that i had to come home early to rest on one Wednesday because i couldn't even finish one sentence whenever i talked. Still i didn't get to rest as i wanted that day, due to some erm.. irritating reasons.
Those medicines that i had taken drained all my energy away. I still remember how annoying i felt last week for my weak stamina. Now that i have stopped taking the medicine, i feel so much more energetic.
Unsurprisingly, i've become larger in size during the chinese new year. *sniff *sniff
Because of that, plus the effect of the medicine, i have been so depressed last week. Even till now i still have some negative thoughts popping up in my head. I tried to ignore it but that didn't work. So now i try to face my negative thoughts and talk myself out of it.
According to the Astro Magazine for February, 'If you don't like the way you look, change it. If you can't change it, learn to love it'
Very true. I don't like feeling fat so i have to change it. The world just seems to be a better place when i'm slimmer. Don't worry ladies, i'm not obsessed with my body weight. I just want to get healthier and of course, prettier :p
The way i feel how i look affects my social life very deeply, that's why i must do something.
Anyone interested in hiking or swimming?? Or yoga? Or Stone Spa?
These days, i don't give myself pressure to arrive at school early and at the same time, i try not to stay back till late after work. I have figured out that no matter how many extra hours i spend at school, i'll still have to do my work at home on non-working days. In that case, why don't i just leave when it's time to go home? No point making myself so tired till i wanted to run away from my job. If there is anything that i have to or want to do in my life, i want to do it with a happy heart. Life is so short. I notice there are so many people stuck unhappily with their jobs but because of some reasons like money and security, they're bearing with it.
I hope i won't become one of them next time.
I'm the type of person who gets insecure very easily, especially when it comes to something i know i'm not good at. So i'll feel threatened when someone can do that something better than me. The worst is, the more i think that person is better than me, the more i'll tend to compare myself with that person. Tsk tsk tsk, I'm torturing myself, aint i?
I know, there's one saying 'never compare yourself to others because everyone is unique'. But i'd think, if i don't compare, how am i to know if i'm wronged or if i can become better?
Oh yeah, my school has a new principal. Not exactly new, because he used to be the acting principal when i first came to this school. Hmm... my intuition tells me lots of things are going to happen, politics-related things. Let's hope i won't get involved with any of it. I just want to stay clean and do only my responsibility.
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