I met one friend today. We talked for a while.
How will you react if someone gives a negative comment on things you concern a lot?
When someone told me i'm fat, on the surface, i'll laugh at it and then change the topic. But deep in my heart, i'll start crying and then, depend on who is that person. If it's someone i'm close with, i'll get upset for a while. If it's just an acquaintance, hm.. come to think of it, i'll still get upset.
The friend i met this morning is different. When guys rejected her because of her weight, she will tell herself that those guys are not smart enough to realise her beauty.
I envy her. Her weight doesn't seem to bother her at all. Although she's still singled now and can't find a boyfriend, at least she's happy with herself. I believe one day she will find someone who knows how to appreciate her for who she is.
Maybe i should hang out with her more often. Then i won't be so doubtful about myself.
My confidence is still on vacation and the return date is still unpredictable.
I need someone to tell me what is my strength but i know no matter what people tell me now, it won't go into my head. I will still believe i'm not an attractive person. The main problem is my own mindset. I don't know... maybe i need to get more depressed till i reach a point when even i myself can't take it anymore, then i'll pull myself together and get back to normal again. Haih..
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