First post after so long...

It's been a while that i thought of picking up blogging again. Never have i thought that i would start with this post.

I attended a funeral this afternoon. It was Chiou's grandma and my auntie. I have lost count on how many funerals i have attended this year, most of them are my relatives. At every funeral, i couldn't stop myself from thinking my grandparents are getting old too and this is what they will go through at any time now.
My mom's eldest brother had passed away earlier this year. I can still remember vividly how i felt at that time. It's like, you had just talked to him a few days or weeks ago and the next time you meet, he's already lying there in the coffin. Very devastating feeling and yet, everyone of us will have to go through some day.

Last night some childhood friends and i were sitting together and chit-chating. Then Boo Ern came and introduced his wife to us. He told the wife that these days we only get to meet each other at events like this. I felt as if i was struck by it. It's so sad and yet so true.
Nowadays, everyone is soo~ busy with his or her own life. Funerals become a place where friends and relatives meet. This is especially true for my family. We may skip weddings but never a funeral. Because that is the last thing we can do for the deceased. Well, that is not good, isn't it? We should be there for the person while he or she is still around.
I have to say i am thankful to Khai Hau. He has brought us friends together for a few times in the past 2 months.

A lot of changes have happened in me this year and i happily accept most of them. My sister and i grow closer, family has become a great part in my life. Work has been removed from my top priority. I feel greater sense of satisfaction when i have made any of my family members or my loved ones happy, compared to the sense of accomplishment i get from work. Also, i have made myself to get more in touch with friends. It's hard but i am putting in my effort. Sometimes i wonder, are we really that busy?? Or meeting each other is simply less important to us in most cases?

However, there is one change that worries me a lot. I am losing patience with a lot of things. I'm afraid i'm on the road towards a selfish, inconsiderate and self-centred personality. I start to question a lot of things, negatively. That is why i am here. I 'self-examined' my own condition and think blogging may help me to become more grateful to life. Perhaps i have been keeping too much negative energy in me and i need a place to release it.

Lately, I start to realise that i am a buddhist who doesn't really practise it. To me, buddhism is more like my culture, instead of religion. I have seen the faith in religion in many of my colleagues and friends and i admire that. I think i start to feel the calling to have myself committed to a religion. This is one issue that i'm thinking to settle with.

Till here then. Welcome back to myself ^_^