just back from anna's place not long ago.. my god.. i feel bloated.. ate more than i should at rai's place just now.. i was too hungry... luckily i only had bread and biscuits for quick lunch just now..
if every day like this.. i'm going to put on weights regardless how many times i do aerobics each week.. tomorrow i'm going to masniah's place with mama and lina.. another open house.. oh my god..
ooppss.. did i make lizzy miss the food here even more???
miss lizzy oh.. like anna said.. if lizzy is here.. she sure will go to her open house..

who is that person that said i look pretty in those photos?? sz?? whoever you are... thanks.. i'm happy to hear that..

i can't wait till next week when i can go to aerobics.. have to wait till tuesday.. if possible i'll go more than 3 times next week.. to make it up for the tonnes of food i eat this week..

tonight i got to see a few people's significant ones.. they all look perfectly match with each other.. sweet too.. hehe..

oh yeah.. i did one presentation today.. not very good.. because.. hm... not good enough.. as a third year student.. i prepared the presentation as if i'm a first year or second year.. must try to do better next week...
i didn't do much for the past 2 days of holiday.. the thing that i did the most was resting.. i think it's important that we get rested during the holiday.. so when we're back to school.. we're ready to face the challenge..
why did dr wimmer cancelled the tutorials for last and this week.. i really need tutorials for my chemistry... hopefully i can have the time to revise everything before the revision week...
perhaps i should try to finish all assignments before next weekend.. so i can start revision early...
is that possible?? it is.. if i do good enough..
ganbate..

selamat hari raya

happy raya to all my muslim friends... saw nenoi's picture on borneo bulletin website.. about Bruneians celebrating hari raya in UK.. yu mei and sze wei are also in the picture..

one good news today.. dr sagun cancelled the review writing.. i was overjoyed.. and i believe everyone was.. me and tek ying were like.. confirmed?? no more that assignment?? hehe.. it's bit like something too good to be true.. couldn't stop smiling for whole day...
i appreciate that assignment.. because we've never written any review before.. this is a good chance to learn.. but i think it'll take lots of effort and time to write one.. and we have limited time.. plus almost zero experience in ecological research.. anyway.. since i've already got the journal articles.. hopefully i have time to read and understand each of them before the exam.. which i think is slim chance.. anyway.. just try my best...
i only realized how much weight the review assignment had added on to me after it's been removed from my shoulders.. i feel lighter immediately..

i'm not a muslim.. but i can feel the excitement about hari raya.. it's in the blood of every bruneian perhaps..
i think one of the good things that we're from this part of the world is we get to involve in lots of different festivals.. we celebrate chinese new year.. christmas.. and raya too..
my malay speaking is improving.. i liketo speak malay with malays.. maybe because i feel closer to them.. if only i think it this way during my secondary school.. then i'd have learnt my malay well.. but.. anything that is categorized as study tend to become less interesting i guess..

tonight i'm going to relax and rest.. leave all the readings and assignments to tomorrow and wednesday..

last night we all went buffet together at holiday lodge.. that was fun.. almost laughed my head off several time.. thanks to lini.. he always manages to make everyone laugh... we all miss lizzy.. wished she was there with us.. hopefully when she's back in december we all can go out for a buffet.. just like we always did last time.. i brought my camera with me last night.. and took some photos.. here are all the photos we took..

still think i should buy one new handphone.. erm.. which one should i buy first.. new mobile phone? or that adidas jacket?? or the nike bag?? oh my god.. why are all the things i want so expensive...

didn't do much today.. just relax.. now.. i feel guilty when i rest..but.. taking a break is a preparation for a longer journey..
i was really relaxing though.. i was looking for journal articles for the review and essay.. but not much luck.. which is very frustrating..
i appreciate that we have 2 days holiday for raya.. but i also hope the library won't have to be closed on public holiday.. i need the library to get access to most journal databases..
one thing i must mention.. the librarian was extremely nice yesterday.. she was so helpful.. we need more people like her for lots of public services..

i'm glad the ramadhan is over soon.. i drink less and less water during the fasting month.. i spend most of my time in the campus and it doesn't feel appropriate to drink in front of the malays who fast.. oh well.. i can start drinking as i like now.. i miss the taste of water..
drinking 3 to 5 litres of water per day would help in losing weight..
i'm quite concern with my skin these days.. because most of the time.. i'm either in an air-con room or under the powerful sun.. i don't want my skin to age before i do..

hmm.. hari raya is coming.. have 3 open houses to go to on thursday.. might not be able to go to all the 3.. have class till evening on that day... but i'll try.. maybe i should start having light meals tomorrow onwards..

tomorrow is monday.. the beginning of another week.. very near to exam.. oh my god.. must work hard..

got good and bad things happened recently.. let's start with bad ones first...

i got poor grades for my chemistry.. both assignments and tests.. i'm still struggling.. i wish i could learn inorganic and physical chem like i learnt organic last year.. organic chemistry is so much easier.. what made me sad when i looked at the assignment yesterday was not the grade.. i just felt so sad that i let a lecturer down.. i hate letting people down.. especially parents and teachers.. maybe because i'm used to making them proud of me..
i know.. it's not the end yet... still have time to work at it.. though when i think of the coming weeks.. i can only visualize deadlines.. essays, review, mini-project write-up, practical reports..
the feeling now.. is similar to the time when i was young.. and i can't finish my homework on time.. and ended up crying in the middle of the night.. or early in the morning.. and yup.. i do feel like crying these days.. feel like.. i can't cope with all these.. a week will just pass by without me realising it.. whole day at school.. then tuition twice a week.. aerobics twice a week.. prepare for presentations.. time on helping around in the house.. i'm getting less and less sleep.. sometimes i am counting the things i need to do in my sleep.. and wake up feeling tired.. oh god...

ok.. if i have time to blog here.. whining about those... meaning i actually have the time to do my work.. right..
i just need to talk about it to make myself feel better..

i start to find the problem with the online library... when i renew books online.. i always forget to renew them on time.. and end up paying overdue fees.. eventhough the library only charges us 20 cents for each book.. when lots of 20 cents come together.. that's still a lot..

thinking to buy a new mobile phone.. with camera.. and must have a reminder.. or organiser...

ah! my sis had given birth to a baby boy last saturday night.. i was with her since noon till she came out from the delivery suite.. that was tiring eh... but a very previous experience..
i skipped my inorganic class last week.. the lecturer looked a bit surprise when i told him that i'm going to miss his class that afternoon.. erm.. the reason sounded a bit vague.. it's my sister giving birth.. not me.. what for i skip class... but.. my mom hope there'll be more than 1 person there accompanying my sis... honestly.. sometimes i really don't know how to tell people around me that.. i'm busy with my study.. i'm not doing well with my chemistry.. i need more time...
i know sometimes my mom think i spend too much time studying.. she always complains whenever i need to go to school on friday... when i think about that.. part of me hope my family can be more supportive to me for my study.. but another part of me thinks this is one of the unique things about my mom.. she never wants us to study too hard...

oh yeah i was talking about my sis... my god.. i had the urge to cry with her when she was having the pain.. and at the end of that day.. the feeling was soo complicated.. a little bit of fear, lots of happiness, small portion of touched and big relief.. really hard to put the feelings into words..
but i really admire my sis.. i'm more selfish i guess.. i wouldn't be content if i'm to settle down with a family life now.. i'm much more ambitious i think..

so far.. all the grades i've got back from bio assignments and tests are motivating.. mostly Bs and a few As.. totally opposite to my grades in chemistry.. but i'm not giving up yet.. all i need is to study and do my work more efficiently.. since i don't have a long~ time to spend on each course.. i really need to double the efficiency.. i'm really scared of disappointing anyone anymore.. including myself.. if i can't get at least a C for any of my chemistry courses.. i'll be sooooooo sad..
ok.. cheer myself up.. at least i'm starting to find inorganic interesting... so.. ganbate!

lizzy.. i'll give the hamper to mimi tomorrow night... actually.. should be she'll come to take it tomorrow night.. such last minute..hard to find her or her family at their sufri flat.. i totally forgot about buying them gifts.. too late now to order kuih sapit from my grandma.. only managed to ask my brother to buy boxes of bottled soft drinks yesterday..
but i feel so happy that lizzy still remember to buy things for mimi..hehe

correction! correction!
i made a silly mistake.. mama updated her blog on sunday morning.. and i read it on tuesday night.. and i thought she posted that post on tuesday.. oh my god! i'm so embarassed.. *blushing*blushing
hehe.. yeah right.. i almost never blush.. my face is not thick.. maybe my facial blood vessels are bit deeper under my epidermis..

lizzy *hugs* jia you.. don't push yourself too hard.. i mean.. you're there in calgary.. not everyone get to go there on scholarship.. don't keep burying yourself with study and chores.. you won't want to look blank when we ask you how's calgary when you back next time.. plus.. you'll be back in less than 2 months time now.. ganbatte

no one around me is coughing.. somehow i start to cough.. thinking to take the cough syrup just now but found it expired since last month or august.. quite a few items at my place always get expired before they're eaten by us.. and most of them are bought by me... sometime i have strong cravings for something.. and i just don't feel like eating anymore after i buy it.. most of the junk food will eventually end up in my brother's tummy... maybe it's partly my fault for his obesity.. but with people like fook and antonia.. i'll always worry they don't get enough food.. it's a great torture for people with huge appetite not to get enough food.. i learnt that from my own past experience..

haih.. i don't want to just do what she says. because it's a group..not as if we're her employee but.. i don't know how to voice out to her my opinion when she rejects my work.. and don't know how to tell her i don't agree with her.. without initiating a conflict.. when i don't feel comfortable with someone or something.. i'll only avoid that person/thing.. is this a typical character of bruneian? wish i have the gut to insist on my own ideas.. after all.. to me, the lecturer in charge is the only person who can reject my work.. maybe i should learn from her.. no matter what.. just speak my mind out... but how oh..
hmm.. guess that's one of the things i should learn from my participation in the whole thing..

i'm a bit weird.. we went into the forest this morning.. and i got a few cuts on my arms.. feeling bit sore.. but.. i'm proud of myself when i look at the cuts.. feel so much accomplished.. eventhough the cuts are nothing when compare to normal wounds

hehe this post is intended to tease mama.. for the whole mid semester break you didn't update and yet you updated your blog on the eve of inorganic chemistry test?? hehe
good luck for tomorrow.. i've read all of them.. trying to remember as much as i can.. just hope the things won't get mixed up during test tomorrow.. like during the physical chemistry test..

now it's time for my japanese test revision.. i've learnt them all too.. just need to remember the characters.. sensei kept assuring us yesterday that the test is not difficult...
any test will be difficult if i dont prepare for it..

lots of deadlines coming... i have stiff shoulders these days..
just suddenly realized that.. since i have no time to do revision for each course... i should do every assignments of every course full-heartedly.. assignments can be a form of revision too..

ok.. time to revise..

yesterday.. when i said we didnt have enough time to do the assignments during the term.. so could only do it during the break... dr marcus said if i have time to blog.. i should have time for assignments... hehe... now i know how those people who say busy feel.. when i mentioned if they have time to say they're busy.. meaning they're not truly busy... a real busy person would have no time to complain...
i think... some of us are really stubborn.. we've been listening to the same advises every week.. but.. after 6 or 7 weeks.. we're still the same.. not improving much.. our attitude is still the same..
and me... still blogging... only less often..

hmm.. craving for instant soup noodles.. the korean one.. pun sia sia

sometimes i wish there are more than 24 hours in a day.. so i have more time to finish my work.. but sometimes.. i think there are only 24 hours a day.. because we're not supposed to work for too long..

a thursday night... not in the mood to do any work now.. going out soon for aerobics.. but i'm going to the library tomorrow.. i prefer to do my work when there's the sun... and will only be motivated to do efficiently when i'm in the campus..
when i try to study at home.. there's always temptation.. tv.. msn.. erm.. i don't chat a lot though actually.. ok.. so tv.. my niece.. my sis... distractions coming from everywhere.. but if in the school library.. or anywhere in ubd... i'm more tempted to study..
and i really can't waste any more time.. very soon the deadlines will be near.. i wish i could have at least a month time to study for the final exam.. ok.. not i wish.. i must try.. ganbate..

my mom mentions about going for hi tea tomorrow.. but not confirmed yet.. depend on whether my sis will give birth tomorrow or not.. her tummy is soooo big.. if the hi tea is on.. then.. i better go aerobics again tomorrow night...
my mom's said that i didnt have any break at all.. i wish to buy another gift for her acually.. keep feeling like the slow cooker i bought is not enough... we'll see..

hope the hazy condition can get better soon.. i miss the sun... the haze has been shielding the sun since monday.. and i've been feeling cold since monday too.. haze haze.. go away...