i've come across a lot of people who think they don't lead a healthy life.. in terms of diet, workout and sleep.. it just occured to me today that since they've known it.. why are they still carrying on the same unhealthy lifestyle?? hmm.. it's not easy to understand people.. even those you're close with, sometimes...

i'm back from my field course in merimbun 2 or 3 days ago.. i rested on sunday then on monday, i went to miri and today i went to bunut hua ho.. spent almost $200!! but if you ask me.. i'd say i'm not regret... i spent it sensibly and reasonably.. i'm going to make regular exercise a routine for me.. so i'm allowed to invest a small fortune on good sport attires.. wearing the really good outfits motivates me more.. then i need the contact lens.. without them.. i don't even want to step out from my house.. then the adidas cap i bought today.. i've never had a proper cap.. also i just found that i'm not looking as bad as i used to think with cap.. and the colour is soo lovely.. i can prove that this cap would be very very useful to me.. then what else have i invested in.. a reader digest.. a fashion magazine.. oh yeah... a new pair of slippers.. well... that pair of slippers is more like a want than a need..

let's talk about my trip in merimbun.. that place is adorable.. selfishly.. i wish the government can close it from the public.. so the place can stay intact.. love the serenity there.. the staffs are helpful and friendly.. then our food.. urrgghh.. i bet everyone in our group is sick of egg now... can you imagine having eggs at every meal for 7 days?? a quote from babu damit 'i promise you, my cholesterol has never been this high'... very funny person..
as usual.. after a week field course, everyone seems to get closer.. because we were all by ourselves.. so everyone help everyone... this time we actually managed to have a steamboat there.. me and tek ying missed the first time because it was like after 12 am.. we were too sleepy to eat.. and i never knew that they love chilli padi so much... they added the baby chilli to the steamboat.. where there were also crab stick.. so i ended up chewing on a small portion of the chilli.. i'm always a spicy-food lover but.. now i have to cut down on it.. though it's hard..
the field work.. quite simple... because everyone in our group was doing the same thing we did for andulau project.. except for mizah.. i really like doing field work.. although it's hardwork in the field.. the good thing is not much work is left when you come back from the field.. amybe a little data analysis..
i didn't take a lot of pictures of merimbun.. because i know with my skill.. i can't capture the real appearance of the place.. you just have to be there to experience it..
i bet everyone of us would love to go back there.. but.. i won't want to stay in the balai purun again.. after knowing so many 'stories' about it on the last day..

amani would practise yoga while we're there... how i wish i know yoga.. nevermind.. i just have to wait for a while more.. when i start earning money.. i can learn all the things i wish i could learn now..
actualy it isn't bad now ah.. i still manage to learn aerobics..and auntie jun tries her best to invite her friends to teach us new things.. like.. now we do bollywood dance and salsa weekly.. but i always miss the salsa.. will try to go this week.. not try.. i must go... i don't know how many kilos i've gained.. i don't even want to step onto the scale..
so for the coming two weeks.. losing weights and finishing the report will be my two main tasks..

after the one week field course.. i feel very sweet by what my family did.. my grandpa insisted on carrying the huge luggage for me.. my grandma worried i'd have a hard time there.. my dad kept asking my mom have i called home.. my mom called to ask how's everything.. my uncle from labuan asked the same question too..even my maid asked me anything i want to eat apart from those cooked for dinner on the night i came back.. i admit when i was still in merimbun.. i envied those friends whose family or boyfriends came to visit them..or bring them out... but now.. i know i have a sweet family too ;)

tomorrow i'm going to wear my mom's shirt... miss her... but i know she's having a great time in singapore.. so.. nevermind..
this time.. my cousin stays with us.. which is very good thing to me.. at least i don't have to worry about cooking.. and our new maid is very capable.. so it's actually a lot easier for me this time.. and having someone to sleep by my side at night assures me that i'm not alone...
seems like i'm very 'allergic' to loneliness..

father's day is coming... and i feel... listless.. i have a father who.. is no longer the father i used to know... maybe he never is.. things just become clearer as i grow up... sometimes i hate growing up.. because lots of things are not longer simple.. but i wish i could grow faster so i can replace my father and become the one to support my family..
haih... father's day... reminds me of things i don't wish to remember...
nevermind.. i can still celebrate it for my grandpa.. he's much cuter than him..
not that i don't like his precious son... as a kid, he is cute.. but.. it's his identity that makes everything complicated.. i don't hate him... but i can't accept him.. to me, i only have 1 sister and 2 brothers..

been staying at home or hang out with my family for this holiday so far.. i begin to feel bit nervous when i think of spending one whole week with my classmates..

will the results come out tomorrow... i hope so.. since i'm going to ubd.. wish to know how good or bad i did..

sometimes.. i feel overprotected.. maybe that's how i become ignorant..

the supp is out... and the list is shorter compare to the last semester one.. a good sign i hope..

my mom's in singapore now.. won't be back before saturday.. then next week i'll be the one away.. i miss my mom... don't like the idea that she's not home... but at the same time... i feel glad for her too.. because she deserves the vacation.. i think everyone, especially housewives and mothers, should give themselves a break once in a while..

got a feeling i'm going to bring lots and lots of things with me this time for the field course.. because i'm bringing my car.. i thought of bringing 3 pairs of sport shoes and 2 pairs of slippers.. but i'll cut them down to 3 pairs of footwears.. thought of bringing pop mie but think i'll just bring light snacks.. thought of bringing my foot lotion... but think i'll just bring one type of body lotion.. i begin to believe i'm more like a city girl.. that's why i like rural areas.. but it's hard for me to live there.. a holiday will be just fine..
somehow.. i'm not an outgoing person too... and more and more often now that i avoid crowds.. i feel suffocated when surrounded by people i'm not familiar with.. even if they're my relatives or friends.. more and more often.. i prefer to stay at home.. read, watch tv, surf online and listen to any conversations.. i remember i used to talk a lot before.. back in secondary school.. but now.. i don't like talking.. getting bad at it.. and only talk more when i'm with a particular person.. when that person is not around.. i just can't bring myself to talk much..
my god.. am i getting shy or timid.. hm.. it took me more than half a year to be able to talk like normal with those aunties at the aerobic centre.. i know i should be more outspoken but my preference for keeping quiet is getting stronger.. out of the blue i just decided that i'm not a tactful speaker and hence should just listen..

i realised that.. biology is something i'm interested to learn.. but being a biologist.. seems like not my cup of tea..

there are lots of stuffs going through my mind.. but.. somehow i can't bring myself to blog them.. because erm... don't know.. just before i realise, i've got used to keeping things to myself.. or between me and dear.. maybe that's the reason why i feel lonesome... but i believe i'm the one who isolate myself from others..

me, lizzy, mimi, lini and mama went to eat satay last saturday night.. i enjoyed listening to their conversation.. joke is never missing when they're talking..
i miss nining and su yee eh.. must ask nining out when i'm back from merimbun... this week.. can't go out for long.. have to stay at home... fook got extra classes and tuitions too.. and something's wrong with my car.. hopefully ah luck can fix it tomorrow..
and i also hope i can lose those unwanted weights i gained in the past few months *sniff *sniff