Last day of work

Yea! Finally, my last day of being a research assistant has come!
I feel quite glad that i can leave the job but shouldn't i feel worried, because from now onwards, i'm unemployed??!!

Anyway, my boss and other colleagues gave me a card. My boss also bought a necklace with a very cute mobile-phone pendant, and a set of white board markers plus white board cleaner. He thinks these things will be handy when i start to teach. I was like, Wow, he really thinks i'll end up as a teacher.
On tuesday, one colleague brought me out for lunch. If not for a meeting, i'll be treated to free lunch again yesterday. This afternoon, my boss brought me and my other colleagues out for lunch too. So i assume i'm not a bad colleague yeah.

People always ask what is my plan next? Hmm.. holiday?
Hehe. I'm going to Labuan this saturday afternoon for tomb-sweeping. Then next friday probably will go to Miri. I miss staying at home. Because of the always-late salary, i guess i can still laid back for a while before getting a job. So, it's not totally a bad thing to have late salary.

These days i've been open-minded and easygoing with myself. Maybe because i've been treating my body and mind well. I eat moderately, i've done two sessions of yoga this week, i did a reasonable amount of work before i leave the job. Now, i'm going to start getting a new job, start a new life.

Today my boss asked me why didn't i continue study for master. I told him frankly that i just don't have the desire to study further now. After saying that, i realized oh yeah, that's the main reason and a good one too. Simple and straightforward but very true.
Before i get a job, i'm going to stay at home with my niece and nephew every day. A good training for me to become patient and resilient, i bet.
Enjoy~

1st post of 24th

i feel old..
back in high school, i never experience any severe PMS. The most, period only brought me a little bit discomfort mainly because of the hot weather here. But these days, on the eve of my period, i always feel lethargic. And this month, i'm having bad menstrual cramps. I have heard of people have something much worse than what i'm experiencing now, so maybe i shouldn't complain much.
I can only sigh.. old age..

on the bright side, i feel hm... loved. Yes, i feel as if my life is full of love. Love from dear, love from my family, love from old ladies, love from friends. Ah! Also love from myself. I'm really thankful for all the helps i receive from people around me. I'm not showing off. I'm just.. having a feeling that things are too good to be true.

On monday night, i went out with tek ying, lim, sal, rye and nyrol. We had dinner at escapade and lim and nyrol bought a surprise birthday cake for me, tek ying and rye (all the three of us have the same birth month, by 5 days gap). That is my first ever surprise birthday cake, first ever celebration in a restaurant where the waiters sing the birthday song for me. Oh~ i sound like the frog at the bottom of the well. A very special memory from that night.

This afternoon, i went out lunch with nining. It's nice to have some catch-ups. Turned out that we both bought a 2nd-hand car at around the same time. Mine is Colt and hers is Echo. But mine is much cheaper than hers by 6ks. Hope she can handle the monthly payment.

A lot of people (elders) are telling me i should grab the golden chance as a bruneian, should do master now, should study while i'm still young. Too many that i start to wonder, how do they define the term 'good' in this case? I mean, how do they know what is good for me? I know i sound ungrateful but i am really curious about that.
I might be short-sighted in a sense that currently, i don't see the point of earning $3k a month since a 26 salary is sufficient for me. And i don't see the point of furthering my study when i don't have the desire for it.
Am i being silly here? Whatever, i'm just going with my own plan. I'm still skeptical about the correlation between qualification and ability to earn big money. Sometimes i think the fact that i am well-educated is hindering me from achieving what i want for life, because i'm too analytical, too worried about possible risks. People always say you have to grab the chance or time waits for no man. So by the time i make my decision, the opportunity is most of the time gone or taken by someone else.
For example, i've been thinking about teaching at tuition school for years but i never take action. Because i'm always worrying that what if i can't teach? what if the students don't improve? will that waste their parents' money? what if the students don't get good grades? I see teaching tuition as a very great responsibility (I wonder had i been that demanding on my tuition teachers back in secondary schools??) Anyway, i'm determined to give teaching a go. After all, the word 'teacher' had filled the blank for my ambition since i was still very young, until i reached form 6, when i realized i have more than 1 choice.

*blank*

Thank you Lizzy. My toe is ok now, the bruise is fading. Maybe because i've always been very careful and protective over myself, i seldom get hurt. So, it's a strange feeling for me to have a painful toe. So i took a picture of my toe on the night the dumb-bell fell on it. A bit sakai, i know :p

I don't name my car. It is officially mine now (forgot if i've announced it before). The bluecard has my name on it. But whenever i talk to my car, i'll call it 'bao bei'. Two days ago, i was using my old good corolla. When i was driving it on the highway, i had that urge to hug the car as tight as i can. I still feel more comfortable with the corolla. Feel like i'm losing something important. I knwo it's silly to think that way. The corolla is still at my place. It's used to be my mom's car and now it's just gone back to its original owner. Now i'm still getting used to my new bao bei.

Good news! I've got my pay, though it's only a month's salary after waiting for 2 months. I reckon it's better than not getting any money at all. I wanted to pay my dad the money he has lent me for buying my car but he declined. So now my main goal is finish off the bank loan as soon as possible.

I've told my boss that i don't want to continue this job even if he's extending the contract period. I think i'm really fed-up with late payment. When the pay day is unpredictable, and sometimes be up to 3 months late, it's so hard for me to manage my personal finance. Each time when i got my pay, i'd assign the moeny nicely but it always gets interrupted in the end due to delay of next pay. It's frustrating to know that i've worked for almost 7 months now but i only got paid for 4 times. I hope to get a job in a private company but that will really depend on luck, because biology is not popular among the private sectors here, i guess.

I can't wait for my last working day to come. Because i get annoyed when i want to do my job hunting but am stucked with my fixed working hours now. I'm the type of person who likes to do things right away once i got the decision. But now my personal matter has to wait till fridays and sundays. Sometimes i'm still forced to go out during working hours, because my working hour is the same as other departments' working hours.

I am still learning to control myself when it comes to food. I am still learning to communicate with my father (a big challenge).

unlucky week

My little toe is reddish black in colour now. My 1kg dumb-bell had fallen onto my toe on the night before last night *Ouch*
i could feel the throbbing pain while i was writing my previous post but i didn't take it seriously, thinking the pain would go away after a sleep. Turned out that the next morning when i woke up, my whole toe was black in colour and i couln't walk normally *sniff *sniff
Then there's this bruise under the knee of my another leg and i also experience sharp pain on my right knee whenever i knee down.

Anyway, I have re-gained normal walking ability now :p
But i just found out that there won't be any yoga class tomorrow. Aww...
I love going to yoga class. First, i always end up soaking in sweat after the class. Secondly, it's not competitive at all. I dont have to compete with anyone and anything. The music is slow and soothing and i can do it at a comfortable pace while still enjoy the cardiac effect. I can still practise yoga at home on my own but going to a class will push to go further/deeper for my stretches and most importantly, the relaxation.

Yesterday i went for a body massage. Guess what the masseuse told me? I need to exercise more because my upper arms and legs are 'loose' as in flabby. Haih.. i am aware of that and also my lack of commitment to slimming down.

I wanted to go jogging but i always have good excuses for me to sleep back in the morning when i don't have to go to work. Hmm.. eversince the bad weather and landslides last time, we have stopped hiking. Oh no.. i need to be more motivated.

Yesterday i got a call from Wasan Vocational School (i sent one application there for daily paid instructor). The girl over the phone told me i have to take my letter from the school. So i went there, expecting something like letter of interviews. While, actually it's just a letter informing me that the school has recommended my application to the Department of Technical Education.
A bit disappointed.. but at least now i know my job application is in the process.
I am not sure about the procedure. I'm just wondering, since it's recommended by the school principal, does that mean the person will have a higher chance of getting the job?
I love the school, though it's a bit far, about half an hour from UBD. I love the environment and the fact that the school is located on the top of a hill. Nice location, peaceful environment.

Yea~ tomorrow is a public holiday. I dread going to work sometimes. Becaue it's near to the end of my contract and i can't wait to start a new job. Also because i still haven't got my pay. I have been waiting for two and the half month. Haih.. Money Money Money Money~

i'm supposed to be in my bed now

I didn't buy a brand new car. I've bought myself a Mitsubishi Colt, a second hand one. I don't have any dream car, nor am i passionate about car. So i just got myself one that i can drive around and most importantly, able to finish the loan without much problem and shorter time.
I understand many people like to have big family cars, whether or not they have a family. Because they think sooner or later, they're going to need a family car. They have a point. But at the moment, what i'm more worried about is the money. As long as i get a job before the month i receive my last salary, i am confident that i can finish off the loan within 2 years.
I notice i like to explain a lot for most of my decisions, fearing of disapproval from anyone that matter to me. Though, i'll still insist on what i want to do even if people are against it.

I am grateful, because my mom, my dad and sister helped me with the payment. All i have to do now is pay them back the money, instead of full loans with the bank. But i also feel guilty to Ping. If i were not me, if i were one of my siblings or close cousins, i'd probably hate me. It probably seems to them that i always have what they want, without working hard for it. I didn't search very hard for this car, i didn't really encounter any serious problem to get my current job and i didn't even ask any of my parents or sis to help me with the payment. I know i am blessed. So i will try my best to appreciate what i have and cherish my family.

There's one thing that really gets on my nerve lately - my pay. I've been working for 3 months without getting paid. It's annoying. If i could get paid every month on time, then i wouldn't have to borrow so much money for buying this car. And i think my working mood is badly affected. There's no motivation to go for work, just thinking of the late salary. I was first told that the salary is normally late by a month. As i started to work, it turned out to be late by one and a half month, slowly 2 months and now it's been late for 3 months. Each of us takes turn to call and ask, and the answer we always get is they have processed it, it'll be out soon, just have to wait.
Excuse me, how soon is their soon? A month? Can they imagine how we feel? Do they understand that us too need money to live?

My family always think i am a patient person. Hm.. has the waiting killed my patience? These few days, the question 'can i sue them?' keep popping up in my mind. Of course i know i can't, but i wish so badly to do so.

Well, maybe patience is never in my blood. I'm just used to avoid conflicts. I don't mind to be taken advantage of, as long as i can maintain the peaceful atmosphere around me. Hmm.. i'm 'allergic' to noise and arguement is a kind of noise pollution to me.