hmm.. hmm..

i'm feeling a bit lost, because dear is working in miri now. I'm not worried about this long-distance relationship (should i say short-distance?). Maybe because he used to study there before this. So, if we can survive through those 3 years, there's no reason we can't do it now. Plus, we can still meet each other every weekend.
I am clear that myself is the type of people who likes to do one thing at a time. For me, now is like i can do things i want to do like continuing my work or do some exercises at night on weekdays. Then when dear is back on the weekend, i can just chill with him. I'm also grateful that because of our situation, we're not the sort of couples who spend most of their time together. So it's quite easy for me to adjust. What i still can't fit in is, the way people look at me or talk to me when they found out dear is in miri while i'm here. 'Not very good for you,' they will say.
Well, i wonder, is there any standard way in how couples should date?

A colleague once said, when you keep defending yourself, that shows you're guilty.
I agreed. Because i realise the time when i keep explaining things is when i'm inconfident with myself. To explain is just for me to get more support. I need to feel that people agree with me.

So, when i keep assuring people that it's ok for me and dear to work at different countries, am i worried?
Hm.. no i don't. I'm not worried. The only thing that i need to get over with is, sometimes he probably can't be with me when i need him. But i'm quite an independent person, so should be alright.
Honestly, i feel very glad that we both are working now. Like, we both are doing something for our future.

Next semester, i'll be very busy. Will be teaching 6 subjects, 4 biotech and 2 fish. I'm not so worried about the biology subjects. But i do hope i can cope with the schedule and also the new subjects i'll be teaching, like the 2 fisheries subjects. They think i can teach, so i'll try. I don't want to question so much now because it hasn't happened yet. So, for this june holiday, i'm sure i won't be bored at work. Cannot afford to be laid back like last december.
I still want to see how far i can stretch myself, want to find out what is the maximum hours i can handle.
But i will try to blog no matter how busy. It provides me an opportunity to talk to myself. Through blogging, i can read my own mind better.

These days, a lot of words are going around. I try my best to stay neutral, not to be influenced by anyone. It's hard but when i realized i manage to do that, i feel accomplished.

at this stage, my expectation for myself are:
work hard, learn more, get healthy, more giving than taking

Hehe, the last one is a bit hard for me. I can be calculative at times. Like, i can be very nice to you but you have to reciprocate. Or else, i'll feel advantage being taken of me.
But come to think about it, at first place, i'm the one who offer to help. No one force me to do that. Hehe it's really hard for me to learn to give without asking for return. But i'll try.

I'm not trying to be a Yes Woman but i want to open myself to more options in life. Give everything a try because only then i can find out what is the right one for me.