Mixed feelings

Thanks Mimi for your last comment. You never fail to comfort me *hugs* love you~ and you all too~~

the orientation went on well so far. Actually it wasn't that well. A lot of things we had overlooked. The situation is depressing now. People who want to do something about it have no right, while people who have the power to do are ignoring it, either they are too busy or couldn't be bothered.
Like i told one of my colleagues, next time people will see me running a department or a small unit of the department alone. What a complicated world. It makes me wonder does this happen elsewhere too? Do other countries do things this way too? Is the grass next door greener?
i can only play my part and hopefully things will change in september or october, when the big boss is back.

A sad news!
My granduncle who had been sick for a couple of months had just passed away 2 days ago. Once again, we lost an elder who deserves so much of respect. I couldn't go to Labuan to send him off for his last journey because the funeral is today. My sense of responsibility won't let me just hand over my duty for the orientation at last minute. My parents and grandparents think we all who need to work should go to work. One thing that stopped me from taking emergency leave is the tedious procedure for applying leaves when you work for the government.
Once again, i wonder where do people go after they die? I feel sad for losing an elder like him. He is a great man and I believe God knows all the good deeds that he had done. He seemed to know that his time was up soon. He had bought himself the site for his grave and his coffin a few months ago. So, things are a lot easier for his sons.
It's a taboo to talk about your own death for many people. But i think we shouldn't avoid it. Everyone has to die, sooner or later. But if we can plan for it beforehand, we can save the trouble for those who are still living. I actually asked my mom where she wants to be buried next time, just in case she prefers Labuan. If my grandmother found this out, she's definitely going to scold me. I really think, for people who don't have children, it's better to be cremated and no grave is needed. No one is going to clean it in the future.
Anyway, i'm glad that i did visit him on my last trip to Labuan. And i wish him all the best in the other world. Peace be upon him.

Ok, enough about that.
Last week there was a crash in my self-esteem. It just went down and down and down. Fortunately, i've managed to pick myself up bit by bit this week. I realized the best way to de-stress myself is to do my work. When i do my work, i feel less guilty. Also, completing my work gives me a sense of accomplishment and that boosts my confidence. Yeah, it's a positive feedback mechanism.

Dear is off to KL today for his exam. We had a conversation on sunday night and yeah, i confirm that his love for me is true. Haha *blushed but proud*
But i'm not such a good girlfriend. What will you say when your bf told you that you're the prettiest in his eyes? Well, what i said is, worriedly, 'but you're not the most handsome in my eyes oh!' Oppsss.. Should i be less honest next time?? I really appreciate his tolerance for me and my honesty plus my un-romantic-ness.

Time to do my work. I mean, to de-stress~
Wish everyone all the best~ xoxoxo