convo...

it's been a week after the convo..
everyone seems to be still overwhemled by the excitement. I can see new photos of convo uploaded every day in facebook.

....

am i the only one who is not excited about the graduation??
my colleague laughed at me for uploading my convo pictures late. it's hard to tell him that there's nothing to be happy about my convo..

lately i found out that, actually ping wanted to go to my convo but he missed the chance. Bad me, for i never expected him would want to go. In my mind, ping and study are just like ice and fire. He never likes study, although i'm sure he is a lot cleverer than me. Maybe the education system here doesn't suit those clever, fast-learner people well.
i never asked him if he wants to go, also because he was working on that day.
One of my aunts too wished to go but gave the chance to my grandpa, because she knew that seats were limited.
So it turned out that there are people who were more than willing to come to my convo.. quite a lot of them, but the number didn't include my parents.. anyway, it's over now.

i want to continue with master study and enjoy the graduation later, since i don't have any sweet memory about my first degree convo.

tomorrow there will be 2 group photo sessions for me. Same day, same place but different groups of friends and at different time.
I.. don't wish to go actually. I really wish to get over the convo as soon as i can. But will i regret next time if i don't take group photo now?
Should i force myself to do something i don't enjoy just to make sure i don't feel regret next time or should i just follow my heart?
everyone seems to think it is important but i feel 'bitter' whenever i'm among them.. i'm too caught up with my own emotion to enjoy the happiness of my friends.

i know many of you are proud of me (I do read your comment, sz!) but no matter how big the number is, i still feel dissatified.
Thanks for all your compliments and comforts. I'm pulling myself together slowly so don't worry.
In fact, most of the time, i'm just normal, like usual. I always believe time can heal any wound.

Oh yeah! I feel proud tonight, because i have my mom and dad pocket money! Haha! Although it's not much, still, it's the heart that counts.