midnight post

not really.. it's not 12am yet. But it's way past my bedtime now. Just finished chatting with dear. Miss him so much. The last time i met him was like... 2 weeks ago. Such a long time :p

Work is still the same, miserable. But something happened this morning that i can't wait till tomorrow to post it here.

This week, our department is visited by the external moderator. I had a 30-mins chat with him about my teaching and the students. Then, consulted him about few things. People who are experienced like him have sharp eyes. This morning, he actually offered to help me moderating all my papers in the near future, since all biotech staff are either gone or leaving. At that moment, i almost burst into tears. I've been feeling quite depressing about work recently so his offer is just like, sunlight penetrating the gloomy cloud above and reached me. It's like telling me, as long as i work hard and sincerely, people will see it. It's just a matter of time.
I felt so sad to bid goodbye to him just now. Of course there are few colleagues who understand my situation but to receive help from an outsider, i am moved.

But again, it pointed out the ugly truth. Even stranger like him cares about people who get left behind like me. Sadly, our own people seem to be blind to it. Or maybe it only happens to the minority like us chinese.
Ok, i understand that certain things are unavoidable. Quite a number of us are overloaded. Sometimes i understand it is because there's no one else. But there are times when such things are preventable. For example, stop creating new task when you don't have enough human resource.

These days i stop myself from posting because i'm fed up with the me who complains about the job non-stoply. I like my job but the working environment is very discouraging. I choose to believe that it's a training for me. At least now i know not to let people step over me easily, although that still happens often. What to do, i usually realized it only after the incident is over.

Anyway, all i wanted to say is, gambate! Life is fair. You work more, you'll gain more!
These days i'm so fed up with feeling tired and then start to pick on my work. So today i remind mysef to relax. Just do what i can. When it's time to rest, just take a break. Don't be afraid to be nice to myself. So, even if no one appreciates me, i am there for myself. Why should i live up to people's expectation when they don't bother about me? I must remember, admitting my own incapability is nothing to be ashamed of.

I wish i could travel like Lizzy eh... Hehe but with my character now, i'll probably stress over the amount of money i need to spend before anything.