today..

i notice i'm more confident about my looks now...probably because of all the workouts and outcomes...i always know i can feel better when i think i've slim down..not sure if i've lost weights though...

yesterday was Mother's day...we brought our mom to eat dim sum in the morning at Lucky...don't like the atmosphere there though..too noisy and crowded...it was difficutl to just order the tea...i didn;t eat much there...the atmosphere diminished my appetite..
then we bought a lovely looking cake from the cake shop next to Lucky...also bought a bonquet of carnation for my mom...a branch of hybridized carnation and a small cup of tiramisu for my godmom and a single carnation for my grandma...i'm proud of myself...because i realized since a long time ago, i started to appreciate the feeling of giving...i like spending time and putting in effort to buy and give someone a gift...a very great accomplishment when the person likes the gift...
also i cherish people in my life more than ever now...i learned to be more initiative...refuse to wait for people to take action...

i like doing household chores...while i'm doing those..i keep thinking that how nice, i'm qualified to be a housewife now....at the age of 21, i've already started to look forward to the marriage...but i know before we can be together happily ever after, money has to come first...
probably at times i'm more materialistic now...but i realized how important money is..no matter i like it or not...i still need it...
i used to hate money...because money makes people and life ugly...only now i'm willing to admit the importance of it..
i wonder...deep down in me, have i really got over my parents' job...probably the main reason why i dislike helping my mom is that it's illegal....
i know there are lots of people who think sticking to rules is lame...but a lot of the times, i think if everyone obeys rules, everyone is respected...rules are dead..but our brains aren;t...we can always obeys the rule in a positive and reasonable way...instead of going against it just to show we're unqiue...

i speak out my mind now...and sometimes i feel pissed off when i can't say it out...but...there are some elders who never listen to us...
i had to hold myself back from asking my aunt to stop brainwash my grandma about the medicines from doctor....how to make them understand the importance of taking the prescription for hypertension....if my grandma lives with me..i'll make sure she takes her medicine on time....my mom and i always believe that hypertension, high cholesterol and heart diseases are siblings....but my aunt is always doubtful about doctors..i feel helpless....and annoyed when i don't know how to change an idea that has already rooted in their minds...

i haven't sms-ed mimi them about going to jpmc on thursday...haven't recharged my credit yet...been lazy to go out...and try all my ways to avoid coming in contact with the dangerous sunlight these days...i'm thinking to change my workout from jogging to indoor exercises....the main reason is not about getting darker...i just think jogging makes my calf muscle even bigger and i really think my calf muscles look bulky now...i prefer brisk walking...or just dance at home.. wish to learn yoga...but don't want to go all the way to bandar just to learn yoga...hm..