today..

finally...the presentation is over...i felt extremely tired right after it..because..it's like i can put down everything at last..for only for a while...very soon i'll have to start writing the report and prepare for the temburong trip..

on my way home..i realized one of the major reasons why i'm looking forward to temburong trip is..it's a perfect chance for me to finally spend some time on myself..on something i really enjoy.. well can't say enjoy yet..but it definitely helps me to fulfill my wish of running away from home..
surprise?? forgot since when..i started to have the idea of running away from home...that seems like the only way i can allow myself to be completely free of responsibilities..and concentrate on myself...no one else..except me...do nothing else except those i want...
sometimes i hate the idea of staying at home just because no one is willing to do that...why must i the one who do things people don't want to do? why can't i just like other friends of the same age..who can just do their own things...have their own time...follow their own wishes...
while me...have to stay at home..doing the lottery..even when i said i need time to do my assignments....i feel like..i've contributed a lot a lot to the family but no one is appreciating it..
even when i'm not feeling fine with my feelings..i still have to do what they expect me to do...i feel like..i'm doing something which my mom should do...traditionally...and..recently..the topic of arguments between me and dear has been the time and tasks i have to do for my family..
haih...
so going to temburong will definitely brings back my passion for my family...i hope...

i'm not really happy with my group today...also with my presentation..but not so much disappointing lah...because...my only problem is nervousness...without that i can talk and present a lot better...but i'm more preoccupied by the absence of geraldine and ching...feel like..there were only 2 absentees and both are in my group...both are chinese...
i'm a bit like a racist..i don't feel annything if the malays are doing better than the chinese...but i'll be more helpful to my chinese friends...trying to provide them as much help as i can...i regard them as 'other of the same' maybe..hehe..geography :P

when i first know who she's into...i was happy...but now..reading her blog..it makes me worrying..too much influence from a person is not a good thing..especially when it has affected your life..

now i really think all my crush..on goh...on esmond..are like kindergarden level lah..