shopping~~~

i went shoppping just now with lizzy..and oh god..how much i love it...it felt so nice to go from one shopping centre or mall to another....with or without any particular thing to buy...wish i could have more and more spare money and more and more time for shopping...i never thought i'd like shopping this much...hehe..i've changed...and..thank god for that...or else..i'd be a boring person...:p
and..that sms saying i looked hot is one of the things that brighten my day too...
feel like..wow...after so long..finally a another guy, not my dear oh, said that kind of things to me..hehe..vain

as for sz...well..although lizzy has got enough of him..and not longer falling into his tricks..i still think he's succeeded in making her remembering him..at least longer than she'll remember a normal friend...maybe...

forgot since when...i started to doubt in forever love...i don't longer believe that love can last long if it's one-sided...i'll be more convinced if the person who thinks he can love his lover forever..even if she doesn't love him...is in love with the feeling of falling in love...
what used to be happened in drama..is drama...
what you can never get is always the best...maybe..giving up on someone who doesn't love you is a good ending...it'll be a lot better than making that someone hates you..

i read a meaningful article the other day on newspapers...basically..the authoer was saying..we should learn to give up...if we accept 'giving up'..stress will disappear...health will be better..so will life...because there are things in life which you put in effort but never get anything in return except disappointments...

i flip back to a notebook, which i used to write down everything i like in it....i found that i actually had collected a lot of quotes and poems about love and life...
love, is for someone who appreciates and loves you in return...

i've become colder-blooded...cockroach doesn't have blood so i can adjust..hehe :p
are we too mature or too realistic? we always point out how childish other people are...how misbehave they are...what about us??so curious yet reluctant to know what other people think of me...

i used to think things can be simple between a girl and a guy...but after so many things happened for the past these days...i realized most guys i know..don't think so...
i'm the type of people who thinks romance is a big part of life...but other than romance..i also enjoy the simple, pure friendship with any guy who can get along well with me...but things always, or most often, turned out to be nasty...
some guys just prefer those girls who already have bfs or crush....
or maybe..they're just looking for an excuse to get sympathy from other girls they like..and we're just the 'bridge'...hehe...could be...but if that's true..i'd regret for trusting that friend...

vacation...when is my turn...i'm just 20 yrs old..but i'm tied down by lots of responsibilities...study, brother, niece, house, health issues in family....sometimes i wish to sit down and cry....wish i could be more carefree...wish i could have more time for myself..
but..that's me...i don't do things which i don't like others do...well..i try not to repeat what i think is mistake or wrong...and that's the knot in me...
sometimes the tiredness just come from the heart...it's an urge in me to run away from everything and hide in somewhere where no one knows me..

tomorrow need to be home alone...again..and as usual...maybe i should've donw some of my work just now...sunday eh...
sometimes they blame me for going out late on saturday night...but..isn't that the only chance i can feel like, and be, a youth...
maybe it;s a bless, in a way, to be selfish enough..