don't worry lizzy..i'm very fine now ah...and that day...i knew that if i want to go..i can voice out..don't think you guys will turn me down if i say i want to go...but..you're right...i wouldn't want to go...only occasionally i'll want to go out at night...i don't feel safe or right when i'm still out at night...once in a while ok lah...and i never like driving alone at night..partly because i can't see clearly...last time even when me and jason went out..we'll feel like we need to go home before 12 midnight...
and i think the way i felt..normal lor for someone who just broke up...when i was in love..of course will tend to neglect my friends..so after break up...naturally have to catch up lah...and i do wish to hang out with different friends too other than tek ying and her group..but same problem lah..the timetable...only she has the most similar schedule with me...
i think that day..wednesday..i was feeling down...so a tiny thing became huge for me...so don't have to say sorry lah...if i want..all i need is take initiatives...but that's just not me kua...i prefer to get familiar with people or become a part of a group naturally...then now my laptop is coming...and library is a good place for pasting time...come to think of it..i can never get bored in school even if i'm alone...depend on how i interpret the situation lah...
hehe..i'm always cheerful..and i really like this part of me...although sometimes i still will wonder is there anything wrong with me...you know...sometimes i really wonder will i unconsciously hurt other people's feelings or do or say anything spoiling....that kind of thing lah..when you start to have doubts in yourself when you don't have people around you...but that's only happen when i'm not in the right mood...most of the time..i won't think that much...UBD is not the only place i can make friends...and when i don't have companions in school, doesn't mean i can't find any outside...people like ah fei always complain that i don't look for him...sz will welcome my mail too..wonder is it a habit or what..i just prefer to solve my problems by myself...no one knows better than i do what i really want...and it's up to me kua to decide right or wrong....i can't please everyone...and i think the first person i need to please is myself...
i really like whoever that said if you want people to love you or love other people, you have to love yourself first...
that's really true...if you can't even take care of yourself, how are you going to take care of others...
last night i read a novel...almost everytime when i read a novel, romance one lah..i'll wish i could have a bf like that in the story...i feel tired of taking care of people...really hope someone can take care of me..or at least share some of my responsibilities...last time i got jason...but now..everything is on my own..
a bit..erm..less satisfied with last night lah actually...everytime when we go red chili..we'll joke and laugh a lot with mimi and lini..but last night..completely different...and i hope mama didnt feel bored too...poor mama..having stomache....and we're eating little by little each time we go there eh...wonder good or bad...didn't have time to talk with josh too...and his friend...erm..like..a feeling of not sure if everyone was happy last night....but i had a nice time lah...feel proud because we don't need lini to barbeque for us hehe :p..then..i enjoy listening to people's conversation..not secretive one lah..and i just realized that..i don't judge people anymore...unless that person does something that is really out of normal..like the 2 juniors talking beside me yesterday..i just feel a bit irritated by their criticism about my uni and my lecturers...i find UBD ok jua..good enough for people here...if they're so unhappy with the uni here...why bother to study here..and if not mistaken, one of them actually get allowance from the government eh...
oh yeah lizzy..last night were you planning to go elsewhere?? actually i erm..a bit intentionally didn't want to come back late..because the first time i sent you home at night..i was shaking with fear when i drove home alone..passing the dark area without any lights....but last night was ok..
i didn't feel that scared...so i think i've grown up liau..hehe...
true ah..now jeans are not my only option when going out lor..i prefer skirts..and high heels...and also i start to enjoy using perfume...i think true star for women smell nice...for men also nice..
later i'm going to linda's place...i hope i didn't scare her eh..i kept on talking yesterday when i saw her at hua ho...she just caught me at my talking mood kali..hehe
2 comments:
haha.. joce's always the cheerful girl i know.. :p but u know one thing also.. when she gets into talking mood, ahem.. even ppl can get scared? no la.. how can u say tat.. tsktsk.. dun expect ur blog also very long long one oh.. ;p
erm.. its quite normal if u dun feel like going out esp during times like now.. but spill back to u wat u said.. go mix with ppl, take initiatives to make urself better.. remember.. u r who u think u r.. be +ve..
chiak lak.. i know wat i said is useless one.. coz joce always know wat she's doing and may not be wrong oh.. but good thing maybe can be something to can laugh silly at.. woohoo.. ok la.. tk~ haf a good week.. ;)
Didn't had much fun because so few of us only =) Hehe. The food was great though.. Haha.. I ate so much lamb eh!!! And so did Lini.. tsk tsk..
Next time we should go again and MUST have more than 10 people so it will be much noisier lagi.
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